


a pretty rotten joke

by okamiisadog



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Razz-centric, brief one-sided attraction, happy end, mentioned past one-sided attraction, monster hate crimes, pity dating turned actual dating, rottenjoke - Freeform, self hatred, slim tries to be a good brother and fails horribly
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-27
Updated: 2018-06-29
Packaged: 2019-04-13 14:46:53
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 13,761
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14114646
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/okamiisadog/pseuds/okamiisadog
Summary: Razz had been having a fairly normal Monday morning. He got to find his brother passed out on the floor, reeking of smoke and alcohol, per usual. but things took a turn when his crush, sans, suddenly showed interest in him!





	1. intro

The day had started the way it usually did.

 

 

Razz had gotten up and dressed for the day before he headed to the living room, not surprised in the slightest to find his brother sprawled across the floor. He reeked of smoke and alcohol- where he had been was all too obvious. Once again, he'd gone out with that little jerk Red. Undeniably Stretch, too. Where there was one, the other two would follow. 

He huffed, gritting his teeth to control the brief flare of anger in his chest as he stepped around Slim. Instead of bothering to wake him, he headed to the kitchen to begin to make a breakfast that would hopefully help with the inevitable hangover. If he couldn't get his brother to take care of himself, then the least he could do was make him eat a healthy meal. 

Razz had finished cooking the eggs when a few knocks sounded on their apartment door, taking him by surprise. 

Who the hell could that be? He headed over to the door, magic gathering out of instinct as he tried to guess who it was. It couldn't be Red or Stretch- they were undoubtedly just as hungover as his brother was. And Blue and Edge would be getting ready for their jobs, so it was either Papyrus or- 

" heh, you're supposed to say 'whos there'" 

Sans. 

Why was Sans over, at this hour? Up until now, he had been certain that it wasn't possible for Sans to willing be up before 12. But here he was, smiling at him with that ever-present (cute) grin. But despite his seemingly laid-back mood, there was a new, nervous edge to his smile that struck Razz as suspicious. 

"Are You Here To Ask My Brother Out?" he questioned, ignoring the other's comment. 

Sans blinked, seemingly taken back by the accusation, " i- uh, no?"

Razz's soul felt lighter with relief. That was good. He'd been afraid that his long-time crush would fall for the few charms that his brother possessed, just like all the other crushes Razz had had before. 

" Then Why Are You Here?" He questioned, internally cringing at how it came out. He sounded so rude- he hadn't meant to be harsh in the slightest. He frowned harder when his alternate's smile became slightly strained, soul dropping in guilt. Only a few words in and he'd already ruined this interaction. Great to see that he was still the greatest at ruining things. 

" i, uh..." sans trailed off, looking uncharacteristically uncertain. Almost shy. Almost as if he regretted coming over to talk with him. 

" Well?" he prompted, impatient. Was sans needing his assistance? Did something happen? Was something wrong? Other than the obvious nerves, his alternate didn't seem too out of sorts. But if something was wrong, he wanted to help. 

Sans shifted, unable to meet his eyelights, " i, uh, actually came over to ask if.... if you want to go out on a date. with me.. that is." 

Razz froze, shocked. His soul fluttered in his chest, skull feeling all too warm. Holy stars. Was... was this really happening?! Was his crush- Sans, of all monsters, really asking him out?! He really was. Wowie. Razz did what any sane monster would do, if their crush suddenly showed interest in them. 

He panicked.

" BYE" he shouted, before slamming the door shut in the other skeleton's face. 

Oh.

Oh god. 

Razz stood there, shocked by his own actions. Frozen by his stupidity for what had to be thirty minutes before he finally broke out of it with a groan, smacking his head against the door. The whole conversation was a disaster. Stars he was so stupid!! He was half-tempted to join his still-unconscious brother on the floor and wallow in his regrets- But, No! This was his chance! He just had to apologize, and ask him out instead! But what was a good way to ask someone out, and apologize, all at once? His brother would probably know. 

He approached the taller skeleton, grasping his shoulders and roughly shaking him. The lump let out a groan, the movements not helping the painful headache- 

" C'mon!! Wake Up You Drunk! I Need Your Assistance!" 

\- his voice helping even less. Slim finally rolled over and sat up, holding his head as he frowned at him. 

" somethin' happen, bro?" he questioned, his eyelights scanning him for something wrong. Ever the worry-wart. Razz rolled his eyes at the behavior. 

" No- Well, Yes, But I Have A Question. Whats A Good Way To Both Apologize And Ask Someone Out?" 

A strange expression came across his brother's skull- and though it was gone in a flash, a twinge of pain still hit Razz's soul. He wasn't sure what his brother was truly thinking, but he could assume. It... it wouldn't turn out like the other times- Sans had been the one to ask him out, after all! 

" bro-" 

" Actually!! I Have An Idea" he cut him off, completely lying, " There's Breakfast In The Kitchen. And If You Throw Up You Better Clean It Before I Get Home, Or I'll Make You Clean It With Your Tongue!" 

Razz headed to the front door, not wanting to hear whatever his brother had to say. He reminded himself of his mistakes enough- Slim didn't need to do it too. 

" flowers are a good start" Slim shared, much to his surprise. He looked back to his brother, even more surprised to see... guilt? Was he guilty about hurting his feelings? He offered his brother a grin, trying to ease that feeling. His brother was right, flowers were a good start! He'd go get some flowers before he headed over to the Tale brother's apartment to apologize! 

" Thank You, Jerk!" 

He wasn't surprised that the guilt only seemed to grow. His brother was such a worry-wart. 

" 'course, brat. have fun."


	2. Failed Apologies, The Drunk, + The Truth

There were many flower shops on the surface.

 

Most of them were human run, however. The first store he had tried seemed interesting- there were plenty of vibrant flowers to choose from, but he'd been kicked out for "startling customers" before he could begin to browse. He honestly hadn't done anything! He'd just entered the store, and not too long later, an employee approached him to inform him he had to leave. It was something that frequently happened, to monsters that dared to shop alone. Especially 'Fell' monsters. 

In the second store, he had been kicked out of the shop for "Being rude" toward another customer. How was he supposed to know that elderly humans found it offensive to be called cowardly old hags? It had been the truth! At the sight of him they had gone pale and tried to hide away! 

But at least the third store wasn't populated.

Other than him and the employee behind the counter, there were no others in the stop. It meant that there would be no excuse to kick him out without being openly against monsters. Now for the challenge of choosing something that Sans would like! He didn't seem the type to like flowers all that much, were he honest, but the gesture would probably be appreciated. 

He hoped so, at least. 

 

 

It didn't take long for him to settle on a colorful bouquet, and after buying it, he finally headed over to the Tale brother's apartment. Soon he arrived, taking a brief moment to gather his nerves before he knocked. A few seconds after, the door was thrown open- Papyrus looked mildly surprised to see him, before he offered a welcoming grin. 

" Hello There Razz! Come On In!" He greeted, moving out of the way to let him into the apartment. Did.... Did Sans not tell him about what had happened? About how rudely he had (accidentally) rejected him? 

" Oh? Why Do You Have Flowers?" Papyrus questioned. Apparently not, though if he were honest, it wasn't all that surprising. It was probably for the better. 

" I... I Wanted To Give These To Sans. Is He Home?" 

At the admission, Papyrus's face lit up, almost as if he had been gifted the flowers himself. " No, But Stars! Do You Happen To Have A Crush On My Brother?" 

Razz flushed, throughly embarrassed by how the other exclaimed the fact so loud. Papyrus nearly squealed when he nodded, overjoyed for his brother. 

" Shut Up. But, Yes. I have for awhile" he confessed, " I assumed he wouldn't...." 

Wouldn't like him. Just like everyone else. He was pretty unlikable. 

" But He Asked Me Out! I... I Might Of Panicked. So I Came With Flowers To Apologize And Ask Him On A Date." 

"Thats Perfect! He's Not Home Right Now, But Do You Want To Wait For Him? We Could Cook Dinner Together!" Papyrus offered, eager as always to have a 'friend' over. It never failed to amaze him that Papyrus had yet to hate him. It was the main reason he didn't hang out with him and Blue much- If they didn't know him, they wouldn't dislike him. Razz accepted- It had been a while since they had last been together... If it was possible, Papyrus seemed to beam even brighter at his response. 

The two headed to the kitchen, Papyrus filling him in on all the adventures he had missed out on. How much fun everyone had, all of his brother's adventures- so many things that his brother failed to tell him. He tried to ignore how it made his soul ache. His loneliness was no ones fault but his own. If he wasn't so annoying, so loud and obnoxious and rude, he wouldn't have to feel like this. So he ignored how he felt, and made the usual jabs at the other while they cooked together. It was a new recipe- making fried beef tenders over the stove. It was only after they had sliced the meat in the required fashion did they realize that there was no remaining flour in the pantry. 

" Hm.... Do You Think That Sugar Would Work?" Papyrus questioned, frowning at the small bag in his hand. 

" What About These?" Razz suggested, pointing at the flowers he brought over. It was practically the same thing, right? It seemed Papyrus was on the same page as he was. 

" That'll Work! Flour And Flowers Are Practically The Same Thing!" 

They quickly found out that, no, they were nowhere near being the same thing. They used the ever-handy fire-extinguishers to put out the flame that had quickly consumed the stove, and then stared at the ruined mess for a long moment. 

" Who Knew Flowers Were So Flammable?" Papyrus sighed, shaking his head at the mess before he turned and smiled at him. 

" Oh Well, We Needed To Get A New Stove Anyway. Do You Want To Go Get Some More Flowers? Theres A Grocery Store Near Our Apartment That Sells Them" the taller offered, looking apologetic for the accidental destruction of the gift. The flowers didn't matter all that much. He would just have to find some better way to apologize!

" No, I Was "Banned For Life" From That Place. Those Cowards" Razz scowled, still upset at that particular incident. Papyrus wisely didn't ask, certain that he had heard about that incident from Slim. 

" You Can Still Stay For Dinner If You Want! We'll Have To Get Take Out, Unfortunately, But Grillbz Milkshakes Are Pretty Good" Papyrus tried to convince him. Which, was so very sweet! However, he'd rather eat a slimy, dirt-covered shoe than Grillby's. 

" No. I Should Be Heading Home Now. Could.... Could You Not Tell Sans, About... y'know" He was too embarrassed to say it aloud, but Papyrus understood. 

" Your Secret Is Safe With Me, My Friend! Tell Slim I Said 'Hello'!" 

"Will Do." 

With that, he left the Tale Brother's apartment. 

 

 

\----------------------------------------------------------------------  
\----------------------------------------------------------------------

 

 

 

 

So the flowers hadn't gone well. 

Razz went home to find his brother passed out at the kitchen table, no vomit in sight, thankfully. He was relieved that his brother had eaten, even if he had left the dirty dishes for him to do. But this time he was glad for the mess. It gave him something to do while he thought over his next course of actions. 

What else would make for a good gift? It had to be something that Sans would appreciate. He thought over what he knew about the other- and came to a brilliant idea! His alternate liked going to that horrid restaurant, didn't he? What better gift than to buy him his favorite meal? Though it'd have to be done tomorrow, it was far too late in the day by now. 

 

"how'd it go with sans?" Slim questioned, words slightly muffled by the table. 

Razz was about to give him the lengthy story of how his day had gone- when something occurred to him. How would his brother know that it had been Sans? He hadn't mentioned him. He hadn't been awake to overhear. And he was certain that Slim wasn't aware of his crush. 

" I Didn't Tell You That It Was Sans" He pointed out, frowning at his brother. 

The taller froze, another flash of guilt passing across his features. He wasn't sure of what his brother was guilty about. And Slim didn't bother to explain himself- just offering a shrug as he finally got to his feet. Razz scowled at him as he headed toward the fridge, soul twisting painfully when he grabbed a bottle. His brother usually didn't start drinking until later in the day. Obviously, he had done something wrong to bother his brother. 

Gritting his teeth, he scowled at the dirty dishes, " Isn't It A Bit Early?" 

Slim shrugged again, uncaring as had his first beer of the night. The sight of that damned drink made his soul roil in disgust-- if he never saw it again, it would be too soon. 

" Aren't You At Least Going To Eat Dinner?" he snapped, " You Need Food." 

" Yer a fuckin' hypocrite, brat" the friendly nickname between the two of them had a lot more bite than usual, making Razz wince. He really didn't want another argument. Was it really too much to want his brother to take care of himself? Was he really so bad of a brother that Slim couldn't stand to be sober around him? 

" Well, Jerk, I-" Razz paused, realizing too late that he didn't have a comeback. His brother hadn't been wrong. He decided to change the subject, rather than try to spark an argument. 

" I-I Need To Know Where Grillbz Is Located."

Smooth. 

Slim looked surprised, "... did... did Sans actually ask you out for a date?" 

" No. I... The Flowers Didn't Work Out. I Didn't Get To Ask." 

That strange guilty look was back, and his brother seemed to be internally debating something with himself. The taller skeleton ended up shrugging, deciding, as always, to not tell Razz anything. Great. Well, it probably wasn't important. 

" I'll text ya the location. Do... Do ya wanna watch something together?" Slim questioned, his way of apologizing without having to say 'sorry'. 

The smaller skeleton would love to spend time with his brother. Was desperate for it, really. The taller was either drunk or at work or out with friends- it felt like the days they spent together were becoming rarer and rarer. Razz had almost eagerly accepted- until his eyelights landed on the bottle still clutched in his brother's hand. 

 

He'd rather be alone.

 

" No. I Have Chores To Do" 

He focused on said chore at hand to ignore the inevitable hurt across his brother's skull. If Slim was lonely, he could always call one of his many friends, or even his boyfriends, over. His brother headed to the living room to watch the TV, and Razz continued to finish up the dishes- imagining what it'd be like to hang out with Sans. 

 

He wished it didn't make him feel even more alone. 

 

 

\----------------------------------------------------------  
\----------------------------------------------------------

 

 

The next morning, he woke to find that his brother had, in fact, texted him the location of Grillbz. 

 

The message itself wasn't entirely coherent. It was undoubtedly the last thing Slim had done before he'd passed out last night, but at least he could piece together was he'd meant.

He ignored how his brother was sprawled on the couch, ignored the small pile of bottles, and instead headed to the kitchen to make them both a healthy breakfast. After he ate, he left for Grillbz, not bothering to wake his brother up. He would have to get up on his own today! He had things to do! He certainly wasn't avoiding going near his brother because of how nauseous the smell alone made him! 

 

It was still fairly early when he arrived at the restaurant- there was only a handful of other customers, both human and monsters, in the building. The fire monster remained behind the counter, polishing a glass as he approached. 

" This Garbage Dump Is Sans's Favorite Restaurant, No?" Razz questioned, glancing around the establishment. If sans liked it, it certainly couldn't be as bad as it seemed. A few others openly stared- while others pretended not to be eavesdropping, all mildly curious about what might go down. Nothing would, as fun as that would be. 

"...." grillby stared him down. 

" I Am Getting Him A Gift" he explained, " And Would Like To Buy... Uh. Whatever His Favorite Is." 

Grillby stared at him a moment longer, before he nodded, setting down the cup to head to the back. Razz waited impatiently, scowling at the humans that openly stared at him- and other monsters. They were the type he couldn't stand. The humans that stared at them as if they were a spectacle. But at least they weren't as bad as the humans that would shout, or do, cruel things. 

Those were the type that tried his limited patience- the type that made his brother have to remind him what, exactly, was legal on the surface. 

The fire monster finally came back, setting down the garbage-filled paper bag on the counter in front of him. He dumped the appropriate amount of crumpled paper money on the counter before he took the bag and left, heading once again back to the Tale Brother's apartment. 

Neither of them were home, but that was fine! He happened to be great at picking locks! Razz hadn't been over much, but it wasn't hard at all to find which room was Sans's. He grimaced at the mess, but continued into the room to carefully set the warm bag onto his bed. There was no way Sans would miss this gift! He even wrote his name on an attached sticky note for him to realize who it was from! 

Satisfied with the delivery of this gift, he headed home- after locking the door behind him, of course. 

 

 

 

 

Little did he know, that minutes after he left the annoying dog broke into Sans's room. The little beast proceeded to eat the entire meal, and, having done so too quickly, vomited all over the freshly cleaned sheets. The only thing left untouched was the sticky note with his name on it.

 

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------  
\-----------------------------------------------------------------------

 

 

 

It was two days before Razz realized he hadn't put his number on the sticky note. 

 

To say he was embarrassed would be a serious understatement. He had been fearing that Sans had simply lost interest- or hadn't liked him in the first place- but it had just been a silly mistake on his part! It seemed that that had been another failure. Razz would just have to apologize face-to-face! 

He had mentally gone over how he would apologize for every offense, repeatedly, but any planned words were cast from his mind the minute Sans opened the door. The taller looked... irritated, to say the least. 

" why do you keep bothering me, razz?" Sans questioned, smile strained as he stared him down. Razz froze at the unexpected hostility- soul sinking. Had.. had he misheard? Had he misunderstood? He wouldn't be surprised if he had. He was the Greatest at being an idiot. Sans continued, as he had apparently taken too long to respond. 

" you burnt down the kitchen and put dog puke in my bed, i get the message, yeah?" 

Oh! Did he think that he didn't like him? Well, maybe he could explain-

" i didn't even want to ask you out in the first place. so if all of this is some attempt to, i dunno, show your 'disdain', show it to your bro." 

... What? His soul twisted, heavy and painful. 

" W-What Do You Mean, You Didn't Want To?" 

Sans sighed, looking guilty as he ran a hand down his face, " slim asked me to. he... he thought you were lonely. we played a game and whoever lost..." 

Had to ask him out??? What kind of asshole did that? Why... why would his brother...? Pain grasped at his soul, tears welling up in his sockets. He clenched his fist in an attempt to control his reactions. 

This was what those looks of guilt were about.

But if he'd truly felt bad, then... then shouldn't he of called it off? Or told him? Or not of done it in the first place? Did he find it funny, to watch him become brokenhearted all over again? 

No. 

It wasn't his brother's fault. He had... He had just been trying to help. Razz should've known better than to think someone could actually like him. Should've known better than to think Sans, of all monsters, could like Him. Stars, he was an idiot. 

" look, it was really shitty of me. i-i guess i did deserve the dog vomit. how 'bout-" Sans cut himself off suddenly, looking at him with surprise and concern written across his features.

" a-are you crying?" 

" No!" Razz exclaimed, quickly wiping his face of the evidence. Despite his best efforts, tears continued to fall. How pathetic was he? He couldn't even take a rejection without breaking out into tears. But why did it have to be sans? It wouldn't hurt as bad if one of the others did this. 

It hurt so badly, he couldn't pretend that he was angry. 

" oh. oh Razz i'm so sorry-" 

" F-for what? N-nothing Happened! Bye!" 

 

 

Razz spun on his heel, all but running away. 

It was just another failure to add to the ever-growing pile.


	3. dating....start?

Razz didn't want to go home. 

 

Not right away. Not until he calmed down. He ducked away in the first alley he'd found, and remained there until the damned tears stopped falling. He had been so foolish. To think that he had the audacity to think that Sans liked him. What an idiot. A stars damned idiot. 

Still... why had his brother done it? Why had he asked that of his friends? He needed to know his reasoning- he needed to know, to hear it from Slim, that this hadn't been some way to mock him. That he hadn't meant to hurt him. Razz needed to hear it, was desperate to hear it. He wasn't really sure of anything, at the moment.

So, once the tear stains had faded enough to not be too visible, he headed home. 

 

\-------------------------------------------------------

 

 

It took far longer than it should've for Razz to convince himself to unlock the front door. 

But he did, eventually, frowning when he found the lights still off. It... it wouldn't be the first time that Slim had forgotten, or simply not bothered, to turn the lights on. His brother was home, he had to be. Slim wouldn't just... just let him hurt alone, would he? He would at least be here to see how upset he was, or apologize, wouldn't he? Razz flipped the switch, heading to the living room in hopes of finding his brother. 

The couch was empty.

His soul twisted in his chest. Attempting to ignore its hurt, he rounded the couch to check if his brother truly wasn't home. The only thing that greeted him was the pile of bottles from the previous night, lying untouched. Right. Of fucking course. Slim was undoubtedly out getting drunk off his ass somewhere- whether it was to drown out the guilt or for the usual reasons. How could he of ever expected otherwise. 

The kick he landed on the pile only served to frustrate him further, because he knew he'd have to clean up the mess. He grinded the heels of his hands into his sockets, beyond frustrated and hurt and tired and unable to do a single thing about it- Other than clean up this mess and wait for his brother to return, so he could demand an answer. Resolved to staying up as long as it took for his brother to return, Razz began to clean up the mess. 

When that was clean, and Slim still wasn't home, he moved on to cleaning the rest of the apartment- regardless of how clean it was already. And when the light started to shine through the curtains, the chores finally finished, their apartment cleaned in it's entirety- even Slims' mess of a room- Razz finally slumped on the couch. Exhaustion was beginning to gnaw at his bones, but the dull ache in his soul served as a constant reminder to why he needed to stay up. He needed to know! 

 

 

 

A knock on the door startled him out of his semi-conscious state.

Stars... His head ached from how tired he was. How long had he been waiting? It must've been afternoon by now. Razz sighed, heading over to answer the door without much thought- magic at the ready as always. At the sight of Sans standing there, he froze. He was very tempted to just shut it now and save himself the embarrassment. But he kept it open, waiting for the other to explain why he was over.

" i... uh, i want to apologize" he started. Sans was a non-confrontational type, just like his brother. The fact he was here at all meant a lot. 

" it was nothin' against you. i didn't mean to hurt you, but i did... and i'm sorry" Sans apologized. He had already forgiven him- but if he hadn't, then he certainly would've now. He had actually said 'sorry'! This was far more of an apology than he'd ever received before- or at least in a very, very long time. The other continued before he could speak. 

" and if you still want to, we can..." he hesitated, unsure if it would be wise to offer, " we can still go out on one."

...What. Was...was he really...?

" Are You Really Asking Me Out On A Pity Date." 

It was a question, despite how dead-panned it had sounded. How Sans winced at his own words was answer enough. Once again, he was tempted to slam the door in his face. Or maybe he just felt like crying. Instead of either of those, he gave the other a wide grin. If Sans was going to continue to shove Razz's mistake into his face, then he'd shove Sans's mistake of asking him on a pity date, of all things, right back into his own. 

" Sure! I'd Love To. I'll Pick You Up Sometime Tomorrow." 

He could already see the regret forming. 

"See You!" 

He shut the door before Sans could tell him he changed his mind. 

 

Satisfied with that interaction, Razz headed back to the all-too-empty apartment to continue to wait for his brother to come home. Slim, however, didn't return. And once the clock had hit 12 am, Razz finally accepted that his brother wouldn't be back that night. He retired to his room, changing into his pajamas before he threw himself underneath the cold covers.

It... it was another normal occurrence, for his brother to spend a few nights over at Red's or Stretch's without warning. And if Slim was feeling guilty about this, then he.. he probably would've gone over there to avoid him. So Razz shouldn't be worried. Rather, he should do something productive! Like eating, or sleeping, or both! Though not at the same time. 

But all he could do was lay in bed and worry. 

Was he safe? Was he actually there? Couldn't his brother at least give him a warning? A text? Something to show that he was safe? That he hadn't been dusted? Anything at all? But as always, his phone was free of messages- and he knew by now that Slim wouldn't answer any concerned texts that he sent him. 

 

So all he could do was lie awake in bed- alone and worried and so very hurt. 

 

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

 

The next day rolled around eventually. 

Razz got up as he usually did, though skipped making breakfast, since only he was home. Instead, he waited aimlessly until he headed over to the Tale brother's apartment at a time he deemed not too early. Originally, his plan had been to make this ""Date"" as miserable as possible- though that idea had been cast. Sans... probably hadn't meant any harm in asking him. Probably. And if he did, well, Razz would have to deal with that later. 

He was tired. He was lonely. And he was so very desperate to get his mind off of things for a while- even if it was with someone who was a part of his current issues. So, they were going to go do some things today that would hopefully be fun for the both of them. 

 

 

The door was thrown open by an eager Papyrus before he had finished the second knock. 

" Hello Razz! Come On In" the taller skeleton greeted, " Are You Here To Hang Out? Oh! Wait! How Did It Go With My Brother?" 

He wasn't surprised that Sans hadn't mentioned what had happened. But he sure as hell wouldn't be the one to spark an argument between the two. 

" It Went Fine" he lied, " I'm Here To Pick Sans Up Right Now." 

Papyrus gasped, squealing into his gloved hands at that. 

" A Date!! Wowie! Do You Need To Borrow My Dating Manual?" He questioned, eager to offer his assistance. 

" No, I Have My Own" Razz stated, which, was false. He had had one, up until a particularly disastrous kitchen accident a few months ago. But if it wasn't really a date, well, there would be no need for one. 

" That's Good. I'm Going To Go Wake The Lazy-Bones Up, You Wait Here" 

Papyrus headed down the hallway without waiting for a response- almost kicking in the door before he remembered that landlords, for some reason, got fairly upset with frequent door and window replacements. Razz crossed his arms, frowning at the floor as he did his best to eavesdrop on the conversation. He couldn't make out too much, or, at least didn't hear anything that caught his interest. Soon the two returned, Sans following behind his brother. 

The other greeted him with a nervous grin, still certain he was going to make this a shit experience, " you ready?"

" Of Course I Am. Let's Go!" 

 

 

There was a moments hesitation before Sans followed him to his car. Sans was the first to break the silence, apparently uncomfortable with the quiet between them.

" so, uh, where are we going?" he questioned. 

" The Trash Dump That You Like" Razz informed. 

He had only been to Grillbz once, when he picked up that failed gift- which, he still didn't quite understand the whole "dog puke" thing- But it hadn't been as bad as he'd thought it would be. The restaurant hadn't reeked of alcohol and grease as strongly as he'd thought it would. And it was somewhere that his temporary friend enjoyed. So even if he absolutely refused to eat anything there, it wouldn't be so bad to sit in there while Sans ate something. 

The place Razz was eager for was where they were going afterwards. 

"... do you mean Grillbz?" Sans asked, a bit surprised. He simply nodded, letting the other come to his own conclusion about what his plans were. The car fell back into silence as he drove, and soon, they arrived at the monster-run establishment. Being midday, the lunch rush had the establishment far busier than it'd been the previous visit. His eyelights scanned the crowd distastefully- there wasn't anyone too dangerous present, at least. 

" c'mon, theres some free seats over here" 

" Why Is He Giving Seats Away? That Seems Like It'd Be Bad For Business" Razz scoffed, earning an amused snort from the other. He followed him over to an empty table, one that was in the process of being cleaned of the dirty dishes. 

" nah, i meant theres no one sittin' at it" Sans explained as he sat down, seemingly unperturbed by the mess in front of him. Gross. He stood beside the table until the dishes were removed, and the table was wiped down, before taking a seat across from the other. The waiter set down a couple of menus before they left to do whatever else was required of them. Neither bothered to look at the menu. Sans was the most regular regular, all he had to do was mention his name and Grillby would know his usual order. As for Razz, he had no intention to eat here.

The awkward silence fell between them once again- this time accompanied by Sans's appraising gaze, much to Razz's displeasure. 

" did you sleep last night? you... look pretty tired" the other finally spoke up, after a long moment of staring. Razz frowned, did he really look that tired? He thought that the shower he'd taken had woken him up enough that it wouldn't be visible. 

" Did You?" he countered, instead of answering. 

" yeah, actually. watched some cartoons with paps, drank some sleepy time tea, slept all night. what about you?" Sans repeated the question, much to his annoyance. The concern in his gaze made him shift, uncomfortable with the attention. What did it matter? Why did he care? 

( How did Sans notice how exhausted he was, when his own brother never did?)

Razz, thankfully, was saved from finding a response when the waiter returned, notepad pulled out to take their orders. Sans told the waiter to just write down his name, as Grillby would know what he wanted. When the human turned to him, he declined, stating that he wouldn't touch the garbage this establishment served. Sans didn't seem to be offended with his distaste- rather, he still seemed concerned. At least he didn't continue to pressure him for a response. 

Not soon enough, the other skeleton's order was brought out. A grease-laden burger and... Beer. His soul dropped, grimacing at the sight of it. Maybe it had been a mistake to accept this pity date. Maybe he should leave. He knew very well how this went- Sans would have one, then one would turn to ten, and by then he'd be too drunk to go anywhere else and Razz would have to drive him home. It was how it always went, any time Razz had gone somewhere with his brother. 

" You-" his voice started out shaky, much to his embarrassment. Sans looked up from his meal, patiently waiting for him to continue. He hoped he didn't look as ill as he felt. 

" Isn't It Too Early? T-To Drink?" he flushed harder at the stutter. 

" it is" Sans agreed, pushing the bottle further away, much to his relief. And surprise. Slim never cared how early it was-- the deciding factor had always been his mood, and how long he'd have to be around Razz. It felt far too easy to convince his alternate not to drink. 

His surprise must of been visible, because he was given another concerned look. 

" i won't drink around you if it makes you uncomfortable" he stated. He looked as if he had something to ask, but thankfully decided not to. 

Razz should've been glad that Sans wasn't going to drink it. He should've been grinning with joy that someone had finally acknowledged how much he disdained it. But it just made his soul feel heavier. The pain felt worse. Why couldn't he convince his brother not to? Was it because Slim knew him? Would Sans ignore his discomfort, if he knew him? He didn't know. He didn't want to know. He didn't want to know if he'd drive another to drinking just to be able to stand to be around him. 

This pity date had been a mistake. 

Screw his plans- as soon as Sans was done eating, he would drop him off and never have to find out. It wasn't like he would want to be around him after this. 

"-Razz?" 

He jolted out of his thoughts, frowning at the other.

"What?" he asked, voice coming out harsher than intended. 

Sans didn't seem bothered by it, " have you been to many restaurants on the surface?" 

" Unfortunately." 

Only a few times- and they had all been locations of his brother's choosing, other than the one location he had chosen. But he did his best to ignore that particular incident. He wasn't about to admit to anyone, or to even himself, that he had eaten the burrito that the human employee had spit in. And that he had only found out about it when the server had asked if he liked spit that much. He wouldn't admit it, even if it meant he had to keep "unprovoked assault" on his record for the rest of his life. 

" i think slim mentioned that you liked spicy food? theres a good place nearby, i, uh, don't think it's the place you were banned from" Sans informed. Great. It was just his luck that his crush knew about that. But... was this him offering another date location? Or just somewhere to go on his own? Razz didn't want to embarrass himself further by assuming either way. 

" I Might Check It Out." 

That was a safe answer, right? Sans's expression didn't shift any, so he figured it was the correct choice. 

 

 

Once again, it fell silent. Sans eventually finished his burger, and after paying, the two finally left. He pulled into an empty space, fully expecting the other to leave as soon as he parked. When he didn't, he looked over to him questioningly. That uncomfortable concerned look was still there- Razz just wanted him to leave before the hurting got any worse. Before he broke down. 

" i.." Sans started, " i know i don't really know ya. and i know we got off on the wrong foot. but... if you ever, for whatever reason, need a place to stay, Paps and i are always glad to have you over." 

He didn't know how to respond to that. The aching in his soul felt sharper at the idea of someone actually wanting to have him around. What a joke. If Slim couldn't...

" i like hanging out with you"

Was that the punchline?

" 'm really sorry about being such a shit-stain. if you, uh, still... y'know, want to... i would like to, uh, g-go out again sometime?" 

Razz's grip tightened around the wheel, he gritted his teeth. He felt like crying. He couldn't force out an answer- all too certain that his voice would crack. And if it did, and if Sans questioned if he was Alright, of all things, well. He'd just prove to them both how pathetic he was. 

"... i'll see ya later, razz," Sans eventually spoke up again, finally unbuckling. 

" don't forget to take care of yourself, alright?" 

With those final concerned words, his original headed back home. Even from here he could hear Papyrus's cheerful greeting. He gritted his teeth harder, trying to push down his pathetic feelings. 

 

 

Razz headed home from the pity date feeling far, far more alone than he had before. 

 

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

 

 

It shouldn't of been surprising that Slim still wasn't home. 

 

Still, he was surprised. He had really been hoping that his brother came back. They didn't need to talk about it anymore- not if it meant he had to deal with this alone. He really didn't want to be alone. 

But wishing didn't make the empty apartment any less so. 

With a heavy sigh, he locked the door behind him before he headed to the kitchen to eat. It was still early... maybe he'd be back soon? By 6 pm he gave up that hope. By 8, he debated whether or not it'd spark an argument if he called Red or Stretch. By 10 he decided that it was worth it, as long as he knew his brother was safe. Stretch, predictably, didn't pick up. Red at least picked up the third time he called. 

" dude, what the fuck do ya want?" Red groaned, words not as slurred as he had expected. It sounded more like he'd just woken up, rather than him being drunk. 

" Is Slim There?" 

" of course he is, dumbass" he sighed, not unkindly, " ya forget or somethin', pipsqueak?" 

Razz didn't have energy enough to feel annoyed at the nickname. 

" He Didn't Tell Me." 

Red, surprisingly, went quiet for a moment," he didn't?"

He never did. But...

" Did He Tell You That He Did?" 

Would his brother do that? Lie to the others? Would he really not want Razz to know where he was that badly?

" nah. i... just figured he woulda told ya, yer brothers an' all. ya have a fight or somethin'?" Red questioned, earning a sigh. Of course he figured that. It didn't matter what he said, either. They hadn't had a fight yet, but they probably would- it was just how things worked. 

" Is He Safe?" Razz asked, instead of answering the question. 

"..yeah. the four of us are just watchin' a movie. are... are ya alright, pipsqueak? do ya need me to come ove-" 

 

He hung up before Red could question him any further. At least his brother was alright. Relieved, Razz went to bed- hoping he'd be able to sleep until his brother came home. 

 

 

He spent most of the night staring blankly at the ceiling.


	4. a bad day, and a failure

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> uh wowie its been way longer than i planned since this last updated!! but uh, here it is! the next chapter is probably the last, and will definitely be out sooner!

(It had been a bad day from the start.)

 

\------------------

 

 

 

The day had started with another sleepless night. 

He was tired.

So, so tired. 

It took longer than it should've for him to convince himself to get up for the day- the heaviness in his soul seemed to hold him down as strongly as blue magic. And there was an ever-growing urge to just lie there and... well, he wasn't quite sure. But that didn't matter! He was no lazybones, he refused to sit around all day!! Razz pushed himself to his feet- staggering when an unexpected wave of dizziness stole his vision. 

Shit... when was the last time he had eaten?

He was too tired to piece together the answer. Either way, he should probably eat something. 

Once his sight returned, he continued onward to the kitchen- not bothering with the fridge. Anything he would've been interested had been eaten already, all that remained in there were those disgusting bottles. Instead, he searched the cupboards, deciding on dinosaur oatmeal, which was obviously the only acceptable kind of oatmeal. He ripped open a package, pouring the contents into a bowl before setting it in the microwave. 

Feeling too shaky to stand while he waited, he reluctantly sunk down to the ground. 

Only to shoot back up a minute later when the smell of something burning hit him. 

Oh shoot!! He'd forgotten to add water! Razz scrambled to retrieve the ever-handy fire extinguisher from underneath the sink-- putting out the flame-engulfed machine before it could spread to anything else. 

He stared at the scourged mess for a long moment before letting out a frustrated groan. So much for breakfast, then. 

But it was fine. Really! He wasn't even hungry! Anyway, melting the microwave gave him something to do today rather than aimlessly wait around the apartment for his brother to finally return. Razz needed to go visit the very useful appliance store, as well as a grocery store. So, once he was certain that it wouldn't catch back on fire, he headed out to his car. 

 

 

\----------------------------------------------------

 

 

After getting a new microwave, Razz searched for a grocery store. 

Hopefully the one he had chosen had other monster occupants, as it would lower the chances of him being kicked out. And to his luck, there seemed to be a few monsters inside of the chosen shop. It was while he was deciding what cereal he should get when he heard an all too familiar voice- His brother. Wait, was that really his brother?! He ditched the cereal, soul speeding up with hope as he raced around into the next aisle to find-- 

Not Slim. 

Instead, he found Edge, Blue, Papyrus, and Sans standing in front of the pasta selection. 

His soul dropped, the loss of the brief hope left him even more drained than before. Of course it wasn't him. It.... it was foolish to think his brother would be here. The bitter disappointment quickly turned to dread when he realized he was still in the aisle with them. The last thing he needed was to bother them- to continue to bother his crush who didn't like him in the first place. Blue and Papyrus would try to convince him to spend some time with them, and what if today was the day they realized how hate-able he really was? He couldn't handle that. Especially not all on his own. 

Maybe Razz could sneak away before they noticed him. The groceries weren't that important, and he could always go to another store if he really needed to. Unfortunately, that hope too was dashed when Blue turned, sockets widening in recognition when his eyelights landed on him. 

" Oh, Hi Razz!" he greeted, drawing the attention of the other three onto him. 

As far as he was aware, Edge didn't have much of an opinion on him- offering nothing more than a brief glance to acknowledge his presence before he returned his attention to the pasta. Which, was fine! Not caring about him was far better than hating him, after all! Papyrus eagerly waved his greeting, while Sans offered him a grin that made his soul flutter- much to his embarrassment. 

It... it was almost as if he was glad to see him. What a joke. 

"Are You Here To Get Pasta Too?" Papyrus questioned as he shoved said accursed thing into their cart. 

" No" Razz huffed, offended that they thought he would ever lower his standards to cook pasta, of all things. 

He returned to the cereal section with the faint hope that they'd leave him be. It wasn't surprising in the slightest when he found Papyrus and Blue following after him- the other two close behind. They continued to follow him around the store, much to his irritation, and after picking up a few more items, their group headed toward the entrance to pay. Razz walked ahead of the group, mildly desperate to get out of the unwanted social situation. The sooner he paid, the sooner he could leave. The sooner he was gone, the smaller the chances of them hating him. 

 

 

Things didn't go according to plan when, instead of being allowed to head to his car alone, Edge stood in his path- to his surprise. 

" Are You Sick?" Edge demanded, eying him critically. 

He scowled, " No. Why Would You Think That?" 

" You're Still Dressed In Your Pajamas, For Starters."

What. 

Razz flushed, beyond embarrassed to find that it was true-- he'd been far too tired to even think about changing clothes before leaving the apartment. Stars, was that why that group had snickered at him?? Ugh. How stupid could he get? 

" you still look really tired razz" Sans spoke up as well, concern written across his skull. He observed him in that uncomfortable fashion once again, as if trying to piece together what was wrong with him. The simple answer was: Everything. Every little detail about himself was wrong. Obviously.

Sans continued, " did... did you an' your bro... y'know, talk bout what happened? did you have an argument?" 

 

 

The question felt like a direct hit to his soul. 

Despite the other's harmless intentions, despite the fact he had heard it before, the question Hurt. 

Of course. Of course the others would think that- It would happen eventually, wouldn't it? Slim would come home, and they would either ignore the problem and let things go back to normal for a while, or Razz would start an argument. And then his brother would disappear for a few more days before he returned once again, and then the cycle would repeat. They hadn't argued yet, and it was only because his brother had yet to come home. 

But what if this was the time Slim decided not to return? The time that he realized how much happier he was, without Razz around? The time he finally, finally realized that he didn't need someone like him- (someone who was so horrid to be around that he drove his own brother to drinking)- in his life anymore? 

What if this was the time Razz would finally be forgotten, Abandoned, for good? 

Stars, how his soul trembled at the very thought.

 

 

" How Is That Any Of Your Business?" 

To his shame, his voice lacked any form of venom- too thin, too shaky, to sound anything other than on the verge of tears. He stormed past Edge, who was too stunned by the unexpected reaction to stop him. Unfortunately, once more someone prevented him from getting to his car. It was Papyrus, this time. 

" W-Well, Lets Not Bother With Whatever Nonsense You And My Brother Are Talking Of!" the taller sent a brief meaningful glance at Sans, signaling they Would be talking about what had happened later, " We Have More Fun Things To Do! Like...Uh-" 

"-Lunch!! We Were Going Out To Lunch After This!" Blue stated, hurrying to stand in front of him as well. Razz scoffed, he was no fool! He knew they had just come up with that on the spot! Was this another action formed from pity? Because he didn't want it. Accepting that pity date had been a mistake, this would undoubtedly be so as well. 

" You Should Join Us! Please? It'll Be Fun!" Papyrus exclaimed all-too-eagerly. 

There was no way it wouldn't go wrong. 

" No. What About Our Groceries? And My Car?" He questioned, hoping that it would be good enough of an excuse to be able to leave without further pestering. No such luck. 

" Monster Food Doesn't Go Bad, And We Can Drive You Back Here Afterwards, Pipsqueak" Edge, unfortunately, pointed out the flaws in his plan. Razz scowled at the nickname, about to tell him off- when Sans placed a hand on his shoulder, drawing his attention. His original offered a soft, concerned smile- one that made his soul flutter all-too-quickly in his ribcage. He desperately hoped that the blush heating up his skull wasn't too visible. 

" c'mon razz-" 

There.... there was absolutely no way he could accept. He couldn't handle them hating him. Especially not Sans. 

"-theres free food-" 

Despite how aching hungry and weak he felt, he wasn't that hungry! Really, he wasn't! Anyone who thought he was was a moron! 

"- and we'd love to hang out with you some more." 

 

...Sans wanted to be around him? 

He had to be lying. But despite his fears, there was nothing but genuineness in his eyelights. It... it wouldn't last. He KNEW it wouldn't last. They would hate him, Sans would hate him, But. But if he went home now... he knew he would be alone again. The only thing that would greet him is silence and the stench of alcohol- too seeped into the furniture to ever fully leave. Razz wanted anything but to be alone. 

It... wouldn't matter, he decided, If this was the time that his brother realized he didn't want him in his life.... Then what did it matter, if they ended up hating him? It wouldn't matter. So, he decided to take this opportunity to spend a little more time with his crush. 

"...Fine" he sighed, earning victorious grins. 

They led the group to their car, throwing all of their groceries into the back with the promise of remembering who got what later. Considering he hadn't remembered to change out of his pajamas, he didn't have high hopes of remembering what he'd gotten. But either way, he still got groceries!! As soon as everyone was buckled in, they set off to whatever restaurant had been picked. 

 

 

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

 

 

The first restaurant that had been chosen was, unfortunately, one they couldn't go to. 

Well, to be more accurate, it was one HE couldn't go to. Blue apparently frequented the restaurant that he'd been arrested in- Razz could only hope that the human waiter he that had 'assaulted' didn't work there anymore. Or, at the very least, never served another monster again. 

The second restaurant they had picked was the one Sans had told him about- one he had never been to before, thankfully. It... admittingly didn't seem horrible. Sans had good taste- other than that greasy hell-pit called Grillbz. The lunch rush had come and gone, meaning that there were few other restaurant goers present. Which, was great! The less people that witnessed him in his pajamas, the better! 

They didn't have to wait long before being led to a table-- Edge, Blue, and Papyrus rushed to sit together in the booth, leaving him and Sans to sit side-by-side on the opposite side of the table. 

Those jerks. 

Razz sat down, pointedly staring at the menu to pretend he wasn't sitting next to his crush. It took a bit too long for him to realize he was supposed to actually read it. Stars, that was beyond embarrassing! He desperately hoped no one had noticed. If they had, they didn't mention it. Instead, they made their own choices while Razz struggled to focus enough to read. Exhaustion... really made it hard. He decided to take the safe option and just wait to eat at home. He was too tired to read the menu, and, anyway!! How could he know whether or not this place was different? How could he know whether or not the same would happen? It was just safer not to risk it. 

 

The waiter eventually returned, and when it was his turn, Razz declined ordering, stating that he doubted the quality of the food could match his standards. It earned unwelcomed looks of concern from his temporary companions- especially from Sans, who had witnessed him refuse food twice now. But thankfully, no one brought the topic up. He refused to talk about it, even if they had mentioned it.

While they waited for their orders, their group chatted. Sans frequently butted into the others' stories with fairly witty comments and, very occasionally, hilarious puns. One such joke had actually managed to make him laugh!! Razz contributed to their conversation too- commenting on Edge's idiotic co-workers after the taller had ranted about them. Were he honest, hearing Edge's stories about his co-workers often made him glad he couldn't get a job. (Not for a lack of trying, of course!! Finding work as a monster was often hard, even harder for a 'fell' monster, and near stars-damn impossible for a fell monster with a "criminal record.") He would undeniably get fired for starting a fight the first day. He was truly impressed by how the others had so much restraint!

It was all too soon when the waiter returned with their meals, everyone quieting down to focus on consuming their food as fast as possible. He frowned, hating how the smell reminded him of the now-nauseating hunger gnawing at his insides. He... he wasn't that hungry. He'd gone longer without, that was a fact! 

" hey, razzle dazzle" 

At the new nickname, Razz stared at Sans in flustered confusion. Sans's grin didn't help him feel any less flustered. The other skeleton shoved his plate a bit closer to him, showing off the burrito that had been cut in half. 

" you should try a bite or two, i think you'd like it" Sans tried to convince him, for some odd reason. 

" No" he refused, still wondering why he'd used that (cute) ridiculous nickname.

" c'mon dazzle, what can i do to convince you to eat a lil?" he questioned- and that concern was back, making the pain in his soul ever worse. Razz hesitated. The other was, however unintentional, offering him an excuse as to changing his mind about eating. Edge wouldn't be able to mock him for changing his mind- none of them would.

" Don't Call Me That Again, And I Will" razz decided. He didn't dislike the nickname, but he did dislike how it left him so foolishly flustered. 

" deal" Sans agreed easily. 

With that, he reluctantly took a bite out of the offered half of burrito. It admittingly was very tasty. Were he less of a stubborn bastard, he would've caved and eaten the rest of it. Unfortunately, his stubbornness won over and he set it down after fulfilling his side of the 'deal'. Sans didn't try to have him eat more, thankfully, most likely having come to the conclusion that something was better than nothing. 

Soon the others had finished their own meals, and once again continued their conversations. They even lingered a bit after paying, wanting to spend some more time together- much to his irritation. It was almost as if they knew how eager he was to leave, and were stalling the eventual ride back. It was nice to be with them, it truly was, but they'd been around each other for far too long now!

Eventually, finally, they headed back to the car to drive him back. 

 

 

 

 

And it was in the car when something finally occurred to Razz.

( A realization that made his day go from bad to worse.)

Edge... didn't he have the same issues with his brother? The... drinking. As far as he was aware, that little jerk always went with Slim to some run-down, awful bar whenever his brother decided to go with someone. And Stretch always went along with them too, didn't he? But Edge and Blue had always been the type to announce when something bothered them. Razz would Know if their drinking bothered the two. So if their drinking habits hadn't been mentioned, they either didn't know, or... didn't have an issue with it?

Well, the latter clearly wasn't the answer. But it was just as unlikely that they weren't aware, considering none of their brothers would put the effort into hiding their habits. It was something he had never thought about before, and he Needed to know the answer as to how they dealt with their own brothers.

And so, while they escorted him back to his car- which was an unnecessary action, though very polite! - Razz stuck his foot out underneath Edge's boot. While it was admittingly amusing to see the normally ever-so-graceful skeleton trip, it wasn't the point of the action. He wanted the taller to linger behind the group with him for a moment- just long enough to ask. Edge glared down at him, waiting for an explanation for his actions. 

" I Have A Question" he spoke, lowering his volume to keep it between the two of them, " How Do You Deal With Your Brother's Drinking?"

A flash of surprise went across the other's skull before it was quickly replaced with a harsh scowl- an action that left Razz surprised. He went over his words, unable to find anything too offensive in the simple question. 

" You Are Severely Incorrect If You Think My Brother Has A Drinking Problem" Edge seethed, before turning to leave. Were he not desperate for an answer, he would've let him go in fear of angering him further. But he needed an answer, and so he grabbed the other's arm to prevent him from walking ahead. 

" W-Wait! Doesn't He- I Thought- Red And My Brother-" he stammered over his words, unable to think of how to phrase his question. 

The anger fell away from the other's skull, replaced with an odd contemplating stare. By now the others had noticed them lagging behind, and stared back at them, both curious and concerned. 

"D-Doesn't He Go Drinking With My Brother?" 

The questioned earned him a soft frown from Edge, the other two looked lost, and on Sans' skull, there was a look that boarded on pity. Suddenly, Razz wondered if he'd made a mistake by asking. Some things were better left unknown.

" My Brother... I Admit In The Past, Red Had Some Drinking Issues. But He Stopped Long Before We Reached The Surface" Edge shared, unaware of Razz's sinking soul, " The Three Do Frequent Both Grillbz' And Muffets, But To My Knowledge, Slim Is The Only One Who Drinks When They Are Out." 

It only occurred to him now that he'd never seen either Red or Stretch drunk. Soul heavy, he sent a questioning look over to Blue, wondering if it were true. The concerned frown answered his question before his alternate even spoke up. 

" Papy Doesn't Like How It Tastes! Though, He Does Smoke Sometimes... But Not As Much Anymore!"

 

....His brother was the only one who drank.

His brother was the only one who struggled to remain sober, the only one who drank himself unconscious every night, the only one who didn't make it to bed most nights because he was too damned drunk. 

What made the fact worse was that it made sense. 

Slim was the only one who had a brother like him. The worst of the group. The most annoying, rude, useless monster to exist-- and his brother was the only one who felt he had to deal with him. Razz was the only one who dragged his brother down. He was the only one who couldn't help his brother.

Razz... was a failure of a brother.

 

A complete, utter failure.

 

 

" razz, are you alright?" 

He hadn't realized he'd stopped walking. He could hardly focus on anything past the ache in his soul, the choking heaviness of his failure. He only was drawn from his thoughts when someone placed a hand on his shoulder, a voice talking-

" c'mon razz, everythings okay. you're okay" 

Sans's face was wrought with concern, his touch grounding, his words gentle. 

He didn't deserve it. Not when it was his fault his brother was still so, so miserable.

Razz shrugged his hand off roughly, walking past their group without so much as a glance back. They didn't follow. They didn't try to call him back. They let him drive off without a word.

He was grateful for that.

 

(He hoped they would hate him as much as he hated himself. He deserved nothing more.)

 

 

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

 

Razz went straight home.

And to his surprise, for the first time in who knew how many days, the apartment wasn't silent. He could hear the soft sounds of whatever show his brother was watching. It was almost ironically cruel that the one day he hoped Slim wasn't home, his brother had finally returned.

At the sight of him, his brother tensed. Undoubtedly, Slim expected an argument. It would be the norm- but what right did he have to be mad, when it was all his fault? So, Razz did little more than grit his teeth and carry the groceries to the kitchen. As he was sorting them out, his brother reluctantly joined him. 

" hey bro, how 'bout i do the groceries?" Slim offered, words slurred as always, " ya.. should go get some rest or somethin'." 

Razz didn't bother to protest. There was little else he wanted but to sleep everything away. Sleep away the agonizing ache in his soul, sleep away his failures. And if he were lucky, maybe he'd wake up being something other than the Greatest failure. (Or maybe he just wouldn't wake up at all.)

The small skeleton headed to his room, and as he opened the wooden door, he heard the sound of the refrigerator opening. Heard the all-too-familiar click of phalanges on glass. A bitter laugh escaped him before he could process his own feelings. How cruel was it that those disgusting bottles, something that he hated as much as himself, if not more, would always bring his brother more happiness than he ever could?

If he had the energy to cry, he would.

 

But Razz was too tired to do anything more than crawl into bed, and soon he fell into a restless slumber.


	5. Good end (part 1/2)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> some new POVs 
> 
> and a visit to the monster clinic

Slim could admit when he fucked up. 

Everyone did, time to time. Normally, his fuck-ups went away- or were at least ignorable. But this time? This time he'd known he'd done something beyond shitty. 

He'd hurt his brother.

It had started as just a night out-- a Special night out. Their group had gone out to Grillbz, and everyone, even Stretch, had caved to having at least a single drink. Neither of his date-mates drank often, so it truly was a special night. And that meant they had gotten rowdy quickly. And in the midst of the fun, it occurred to his damned, drunken, useless mind that his brother was still home alone. That his brother was probably lonely-- even if Slim couldn't recall a time that Razz had ever expressed his want for companions, his brother probably felt lonely sometimes, right? 

And the best way to deal with it, in his idiotic mind, had been to try to set him up with one of the others. 

Finding his partners had helped him, so Of Course it would help his brother. It hadn't even occurred to him that maybe, just maybe, setting his brother up with someone on a dare, of all things, would hurt him. That his brother would be left hurt and used just like with the last monster he'd tried to date. It just.... hadn't occurred to him until he was roughly shaken awake from his spot on the floor, where he passed out the previous night. 

The minute he'd seen the anxiety poorly hidden behind his brother's scowl, had heard the question about how to ask someone out, Slim had known he'd fucked up. He had recalled, with horrid clarity, the kind of dare he'd made Sans promise to fulfill. In the end, he had only further fucked up by not confessing- by letting his brother get hurt. Slim had just, ever-so-foolishly, believed it would be fine. He'd figured the apparent crush Razz had on Sans was something new, something superficial. That his brother would go on the date, and realize he wasn't interested, no feelings would be hurt, and he would never have to confess. 

 

Again, he'd known he'd fucked up when Sans called him, a few days later, with news that Razz went home crying. 

CRYING. 

Stars had he fucked up. And the coward he is, he'd decided to leave home rather than deal with his own misdeeds. He had gone to some bar and attempted to drown the overwhelming guilt that ate at his soul. He had drank and drank and drank- and promised himself that he would return the next night to apologize and take the well-deserved anger that would be aimed his way. 

Slim kept telling himself it would be the next night.

And then, nearly a week later, Slim had finally returned home. The lights were off, which had brought him a mild relief that was quickly choked down by guilt. And guilt had always been easier to handle with a drink. 

He'd lost count of how many drinks he'd had before Razz finally returned home. 

He'd tensed, so expectant of the never-ending argument of their's that he hadn't even taken in his brother's poor state when he had first spotted him. Hell, Slim had only noticed something was wrong when Razz did little more than grit his teeth and carry the groceries to the kitchen. The taller had reluctantly followed his brother into the other room, finally taking in the other's state. Razz had still been dressed in pajamas, deep dark bruises under his sockets from who knew how many sleepless nights, small hands trembling as he started to put away the groceries. 

His brother had looked so uncharacteristically small and haggard, that all the guilt he had been attempting to drown had came back full-force. It had dug and burrowed deep into his soul, leaving him shaken and ill. 

And he had only wondered if he'd caused it, as if the answer hadn't been obvious enough. Even with the answer in his face, he had done nothing. 

" hey, bro, how 'bout i do the groceries?" Slim had offered, words slurred, " ya... should go get some rest or somethin'." 

Razz had offered no protest. Hadn't even glanced at him as he passed, heading off to bed without care of the time. The guilt had been, and still was, so overpowering. Slim had thought nothing of grabbing another beer from the fridge- had thought nothing of the faint bitter laugh that was heard all-too-clearly in the silence of their apartment. 

He had downed the drink, continued to put the groceries away, and then headed to sleep on the couch as he normally did. Slim hadn't even spared a single thought toward his brother, hadn't spared the slightest concern over how severely wounded he was from his deeds. 

He'd just gone to bed, drunk as ever.

 

 

 

And hadn't tried to amend his wrongs until it was almost too late. 

 

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The next morning Slim woke up to sunlight peering through the blinds, near-searing in it's brightness. 

He groaned, rolling off the couch to escape the light that did nothing else but increase his headache. Stars... he could hardly recall what had happened last night. Judging by the fresh smoke scent heavily seeped into his jacket, he had gone to Fellby's bar. But he couldn't recall much of anything after returning home. He'd been so nervous about the upcoming yelling match that he was well into his drinks long before Razz had returned home. 

The argument he and his brother had must of been hell, for him to of drank himself into becoming blackout drunk. 

Well, whatever. Slim decided he wouldn't think much on whatever had happened-- especially not before he had pain meds and something to eat. Anyway, his brother was just as avoidant of discussing their arguments as he was, so he didn't truly have to recall what had been said. Decision made, he headed to the kitchen. After taking two pills from the ever-handy meds he kept in one of the kitchen drawers, he poured himself a bowl of cereal- as it required little preparation. 

 

As Slim ate, he found himself all too aware of the overwhelming silence of their apartment. 

It was bizarre, and a bit concerning, that he was the only one awake. It was now 11 am, and his brother was nowhere to be seen. Razz was never one to sleep in, and he wasn't out somewhere else either, as the keys were still on the counter. It... really must of been one hell of an argument, if Razz was upset enough to stay in his room for so long. 

A fresh wave of guilt swamped over him, weighing heavily on his soul.

Stars, he was such a shit brother, wasn't he? After setting Razz up to be hurt, and whatever had happened last night, it really was no wonder that his brother was moping in his room. For a moment, he wondered if he should go see how his brother was faring- if he needed comfort- but dismissed that idea quickly. Razz probably was fine. Things rarely got to his brother, and the things that did hurt him were forgotten quickly, so he would undoubtedly come out of his room soon, and everything would be status-quo. 

 

 

 

 

Assured that everything was fine, Slim finished his breakfast- ditching the bowl in the sink before he grabbed a beer and returned to the living room. Three hours passed before he began to feel worried once again. But as always, he convinced himself everything would be fine. 

He was far less convinced that everything would be fine when the day slowly turned into night, and there had been no sign of his brother- not even the smallest sound from his bedroom to indicate that he was awake. Slim was worried. Beyond worried. Maybe.. maybe Razz had been hurt by his idiotic actions far more than he'd assumed. Or worse, something else was wrong. 

He needed to go check on him, even if his brother might get upset at him because of it. 

Slowly, reluctantly, Slim got to his feet and staggered down the hall- stopping in front of his brother's bedroom door. He rapped his knuckles on the door, holding his breath to listen for any sound inside.

Nothing. 

" hey, bro.... can i come in?" he asked, words slurred. 

There was no sound from inside Razz's room.

" or, couldya say somethin'?"

Still nothing. 

His soul swirled with ever-growing anxiety, fearing the worst. Razz hadn't left his room all day, hadn't even made a sound-- at the very least he should've been moving around in his room. But there had been nothing, and stars, how horrible of a brother was he that it took him this long to go check on him, despite knowing that something wasn't right? 

The question wasn't one he really wanted to know the answer to. 

Slim opened the door, eyelights landing on the bundle lying still underneath the sheets. He made his way over to sit on the edge of the bed, beside his brother, and rested a hand on the smaller's shoulder. Despite how light of a sleeper his brother normally was, Razz didn't so much as twitch. He remained asleep- still and quiet, dark bruises of exhaustion burned underneath his sockets. He didn't look rested in the slightest, despite how long he'd slept. 

His soul swirled uneasily. 

"C'mon bro, time ta wake up" Slim spoke, lightly shaking him in an attempt to wake him. 

Stars, he couldn't remember a time where he ever had woken his brother up, it was beyond surreal to be the one to do it now. 

Razz remained asleep. 

He wasn't really sure what to do now, the alcohol induced haze in his mind made thinking hard. He needed someone with a clear mind to tell him what to do- to tell him what was wrong and how to fix it. He grabbed his phone from his pocket, squinting down at the contacts as if that would help make the blurred words readable. It didn't help in the slightest, so he decided to pick a random contact and hope it was someone helpful. 

It was only the second ring before whoever he'd called finally picked up. 

" we need to talk." 

Shit. Of course he ended up calling Sans, of all monsters. 

Slim winced at his tone, not drunk enough to deal with the other's anger. Sans and Papyrus had called him several times over the past couple of days, and had left quite a few messages- he hadn't listened to any, of course. They were undoubtedly about his mistake, about him hurting Razz, and just the thought of those messages made guilt overwhelm his soul. He seriously doubted he could ever get drunk enough to handle listening to them. What Sans wanted to 'talk about' was very clearly the same thing as whatever he'd said in those messages. 

" y-yeah, that, uh, can wait. I think somethin's wrong with my bro" Slim started, cutting off the possible lecture. He wasn't drunk enough to deal with it. 

" what happened? is he alright?" Sans questioned, any and all anger was quickly replaced with concern. 

" Uh... i- i dunno. he went to bed last night an', uh, he hasn't gotten up all day? i thought he'd come out so i didn' check on him, but..." he trailed off, wincing as he heard his own negligence aloud. 

"... have you 'Checked' him yet?" 

Shit. 

That should've been the next obvious step. Well, he already knew he was a moron. He 'Checked' Razz, once more squinting in an attempt to make out the words. Razz's stats said...

" you're too drunk to read it, aren't you?" Sans sighed, the irritation in his voice was a near perfect imitation of his brother's normal tone. 

He wasn't wrong. Slim's vision was too blurred to make out much of anything. His vision was so blurry, in fact, that it almost looked like his brother's HP had gone down significantly. 

" i'll be over in a sec" 

 

 

Slim didn't have to wait long at all. Hardly seconds after hanging up, Sans appeared, looking beyond concerned. The smaller ignored him in favor of Razz, thankfully, eyelights scanning him for anything visually wrong. Not finding anything, he finally Checked the other.

The choked curses weren't reassuring in the slightest. 

Sans didn't bother to explain what had concerned him. Instead, he moved forward to bring Razz into his arms- and stars, the way Razz remained limp, still un-stirring, made his nonexistent stomach roil. Slim only stopped Sans when he realized that the smaller planned on leaving with his brother without an explanation as to what was wrong. 

" what's goin' on?" he questioned, concern making his soul race, his voice shake. Where were they going? What was wrong? It- it couldn't be bad enough for them to have to leave, could it?

Sans frowned at him, " 'm taking him to the monster clinic Al runs- someone'll tell you when you're sober. probably." 

Without further explanation, without giving him the chance to plead to go with them, Sans disappeared with Razz. 

 

Slim was far too drunk to recall where Al's clinic was, far too drunk to be able to use his magic accurately, and far, far too drunk to be of any help anyway. For far from the first time, his drunken state had gotten in the way of helping his brother- (his brother, who had something seriously wrong with him, judging by how Sans had acted.)

For far from the first time, he despised being drunk.

 

And, hilariously enough, that fact made him want to drink more. 

 

So he did, to drown the all-consuming guilt welling up inside of his useless, useless soul. 

 

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It was quiet in the clinic. 

Time had passed, and it was the very early hours of the morning now. Sans sat beside the hospital bed, holding Razz's hand as he waited for him to wake. It was... odd, to see the other sleep. Under any other circumstance, the sight would've been sweet- soul warming, even. At the moment, there was nothing 'sweet' about this rest.

Soul sickness.

That was the diagnosis. 

The reason Razz had Fallen asleep, had been unable to wake, had lost Hp-- It was because of soul sickness. The affliction had plenty of causes, such as stress, lack of food and/or rest, low magic, and too many negative emotions. Evidently, it was something that had been a long time coming, for his alternate. 

But, seeing as it was caught in time, it was treatable.

This soul sickness wasn't like Falling Down, where the monster's fate was left to their will to survive. The IV stuck into Razz's cracked soul transferred much needed magic, which worked to restore his severely low magic and stop the falling HoPe. In a few hours, to days at most, Razz would wake up. Whether he... he wanted to or not. 

Sans tried not to linger on that part. 

He was just beyond grateful that his friend would be alright. 

 

 

 

" E-excuse me, Sans?" Alphys spoke, peaking her head into the patient room. 

It was the second time she'd checked in on them this hour, obviously very worried about the 'sans' she'd yet to meet. Understandably so. Razz looked so, so small. Tired and fragile, in a way that both he and Alphys were uncomfortably familiar with. Sans just wished he had noticed, had helped, had been anything other than a jerk, before things had gotten this bad. 

" whats up, al?" he questioned, keeping his voice low despite knowing he wouldn't wake his companion.

" Have you, uh, have you called any of the others? Or, uh, do you need me to call someone? I h-have my cellphone if you need to borrow it" she offered, hand hovering over her pocketed phone. 

Right. Other than him and Alphys, no one else was aware of the situation. Well, Slim was sort of aware, but judging by how drunk he had been it was unlikely that he'd remember that this had even occurred. 

" i, uh, haven't called anyone yet" Sans admitted, " but i'll do that now." 

He had been far more focused on making sure Razz would be alright, rather than calling anyone. But now that his alternate was stable and unlikely to worsen, that was probably something he should do. He dug his cellphone from his pocket, showing it off to Al to let her know he had it. She nodded, stammered that she'd check in on them later, as that was standard protocol, and after one last worried glance toward Razz, she left the two of them once more. Sans decided to send out a group text, to inform everyone of Razz's current location and condition. It wasn't surprising in the slightest that no one replied, seeing as it was far too early in the morning to expect any of them to be awake. But the others would see the text whenever they woke, and would undoubtedly come to visit, just as concerned about Razz as he was. 

After... the recent events, they had all been made aware of the fact that there were serious problems in the Swapfell brother's lives. Problems that likely have been going on for years- unnoticed, unmentioned. He didn't know much about their situation, none of them did, but he had been around Razz long enough to be able to piece together two simple facts: Slim drank far, far more than he claimed he did, and Razz was anything but alright. 

Needless to say, it was a concerning situation.

And now, with this? With Razz getting far, far too close to falling down? His original plan of figuring out the situation, of figuring out how to help, without being too direct would no longer be an option. He Needed to know how to help his friend- how to help him cope with his hurts. And how to help Slim get the help he so obviously needed too. 

 

Sans refused to sit back and let things continue like this any longer. 

 

The Swapfell brothers would get their help, whether or not they thought they needed it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> some people were asking for split ends, and i really liked that idea!! so, first update out of three (1/3)

**Author's Note:**

> btw, i didn't have time to check over it, so if ya see any major things, feel free to let me know!


End file.
